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my favorite phantom of the opera character *checks notes on hand* chandler bing

once again banging pots and pans to remind people that their job as parents is to make functioning adults and not to protect their child from ever being sad.

jimmy urine goes to therapy 

mindful self indulgence

galt's gulch is located in the cleft of your mom's enormous, juicy #ass. and that ass? is public property

I literally saw prescription condoms today and I didn’t even know they were still potentially an RX item manufactured by a drug company. This is like in contrast to the doctor prescribing some like over the counter Trojans or whatever, implying that because it’s OTC that insurance can and usually will refuse to cover it

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intimate instance for friends submitting to the horrifying ordeal of being known